We Destroyed Ourselves
by KatrinaJG
Summary: Fill for Fallout Kink Meme. "America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves." - Abraham Lincoln. President Eden and Colonel Autumn are at an impasse, but that wasn't always the case.


Prompt for the Fallout Kink Meme was:

John Henry Eden/Augustus Autumn, one sided admiration

Eden speaks sweet words of the future, Autumn listens.  
I dunno, I just really want to see Autumn express some kind of adoration either for John Henry Eden "himself" *cough* or what John Henry Eden stands for.

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_"America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves." - Abraham Lincoln_

* * *

John Henry Eden.

It was a name from his childhood. A few of the higher ranking soldiers and personnel (scientists, like his father, and congressmen who would wink to children in class rooms and say 'the President's advisor' while talking how they would one day reclaim the wasteland of America) on the Poseidon Energy Oil Rig (or Control Center ENCLAVE as his father always insisted), spoke of John Henry Eden in the same breath they spoke of President Richardson. A brilliant man, they said, but such a shame he was located all the way in the ruins of the Capital, what a difference he would have made, here with us!

As young man, Autumn always thought that was an odd thing to say. It seemed to him that the older Richardson got, the more and more he relied on Eden's counsel. The only way he (_'..Put your faith in John Henry Eden, great America..'_) could have more control or made more of a difference, were if he were President himself. Perhaps Eden was grooming the whole of the Enclave then to accept him as the successor to Richardson. For when they were at their lowest, when the destruction of the oil rig burned bright and hot around them, they listened to the voice that lilted soothingly out of the dark (with all the charm of Old World glory and ease) without question.

The trek across the Wasteland of America is burnt viscously into his mind. Autumn was one of the few surviving members of the military, and though his father was their highest ranking officer, Augustus was often looked to for guidance. As if somehow his skill with power-armor and energy weapons made him more capable of surviving the burning sun and irradiated water (_'..How did it come to this America? How did your leaders let the most powerful nation on Earth...**die**?..'_). It was his first taste of leadership, and he found that he enjoyed the power of it. He was no more adept at reading his Pip-boy or slugging across the barren wasteland than the rest, but something about his confidence made him more and more leaned upon. _Trusted._

When he was a child, Augustus once read a book in class about humanity surviving after a nuclear holocust. As he trekked across America's wasteland he couldn't remember the name of the book or much of the plot, only that he was equally horrified and fascinated by how life continued to survive. Even knowing that their beloved country was destroyed (_'..Before we were devastated by atomic war..'_), the sheer lifelessness of the land shocked him. Part of him was expecting amber waves of grain and purple mountain majesties. It seemed that the only thing left of 'America the Beautiful' was it's spacious skies, tinted grey and green from the irradiated dust in the air. It only further cemented in his mind the need for a radical revival of America. And, he acknowledges now (as the President calls him away from the interrogation room, knowing full Eden doesn't _truly_ wish to see him), his faith in Eden. Even the man's name spoke revival.

Arriving at Raven Rock, after four and half months scrambling between abandoned shelters and small settlements, fighting with sickness and crazed inhabitants (_'..There are, of course, the Raiders. Those anarchistic ruffians who roam the wastes, preying on any and all. Stealing, Murdering..'_), was what Augustus assumed people believed arriving in Heaven was like after the Rapture. It was succor for their tired bones and flagging spirits, and though it was dusty and ill used, it was the most beautiful thing he can recall seeing. They were greeted by a few cheerful Mr. Handy's and Eden's charming, "Welcome to Raven Rock." The smile present in his voice but his person nowhere to be found.

Agoraphobic. Ill. Deformed. These were the rumors that flew in the few short months after their arrival. These were the things people muttered about away from the sight and hearing of the various cameras. How else could they explain Eden's reluctance to meet with anyone but Augustus' father? Autumn Sr. himself was just as tight lipped about it, often seen coming and going from Section 1A in his efforts to consult with wasn't President then, still an advisor for the weary Enclave survivors, but he was a powerful voice. Speaking everything they wanted to hear, everything that Augustus wanted to hear.

Eden spoke about reclaiming the Wastes, turning it from the Post-Apocalyptic Wasteland to the Super-Power that America once was (_'..When John Henry Eden builds a country, he builds it to last. The American Way. Don't you, my darling America, deserve that?..'_). Eden's thoughts and idea's weren't some half formed rantings, but full fledged plans with goals and set dates. It gave them a sense of purpose, and for the troops, this was exactly what they needed to hear after their defeat in California. They were sentiments that were echoed by Richardson once-upon-a-time; sentiments, that Augustus realized, were Eden's all along. He'd never truly realized how much the old man had relied on Eden's counsel, but it was clear that even though Eden didn't have the title, he was the President.

When the election for President did arrive, it was by a unanimous vote that Eden was elected. The fifty or so of the Enclave survivors gathered together in a large hall in the chambers of Raven Rock and held a simple yea, or nay vote, for no one else ran against Eden. He gave a speech that was rousing and grateful, full of hope and promise for the future (_'..But only together, TOGETHER, can we hope to reach our full potential. The way we were before the war. Whole. Beautiful. **Powerful.** One Enclave. One America. Now and forever..'_), but even during that acceptance speech, no one saw him. Augustus has never been able to recall just what Eden said, but he does remember what he thought the moment it ended: "Finally. Finally, we can succeed."

In the years before his father's death, Augustus was one of Eden's biggest supporters. There were murmurs of discontent over those years because no one ever saw Eden, and that negatively effected the moral of some of the members. However, Augustus found that he didn't much care that Eden was recluse, he was there for them in every way that he made it to the rank of Colonel, officially taking over as lead of military personnel and projects, he gained a greater view of all they had accomplished in the time they had been in the Capital Wasteland. It was a confirmation of every word spoken in the President's defense, and every harsh look from his father when Augustus sided with Eden over him.

When he reached this rank, with the blessing of Eden, he moved a small group of soldiers and scientists to the Adams Air Force Base and began research on new power-armor models, and sturdier Eyebots. After years spent on these projects (with Eden showering him with accolades and applause on all his successes) they were finally wrapping up when Augustus' father fell ill. A heart attack that left him bed-ridden. Even their very talented Doctor Church was unable to do much for him in the wake of it, save to make him comfortable (after giving Autumn Sr. an earful about why exactly he should have been listening to him five years ago when Church said to find ways to relive his stress. And ten years before that when their previous Doctor, Doctor Hallem said the very same thing).

He and his father had grown distant over the years, with him being away at Adams and their disagreements concerning Eden's presidency (_'..To that I must answer of course! Of course I was elected, sweet America. Of course. Isn't the right to vote the very foundation of a democracy?..'_). His father didn't think it right for Eden to be president for so long; "Why doesn't someone else run? Why won't we vote for someone else?".

Despite their strained relationship, Augustus spent most of his waking hours at his father's bedside. He believed it was only right to see his father out of this life, as his father once seen him into it. It was when his father regained consciousness nearly two days later that he spoke the words that forever changed his life: "Eden wants you to take my place, Augustus." His father never called Eden, 'the President', when he was speaking to Augustus alone, as much as Augustus disliked the disrespect that implied. Even now, when they were at odds, hell, at the opposite ends of a civil war, he still called Eden, Mr. President. He couldn't disrespect a Goddamed _machine_ the way his father had.

He didn't know what to say to that then, and even now he can't think of the right words. Anything he could have said would have sounded either incredibly arrogant or callus, and he never thought of himself that way. He simply nodded, and his father slumped back against his pillows, looking more worn and tired than Augustus had ever seen him. "I won't be here much longer and when I'm gone there is something I want you to have." He gestured for Augustus to move in closer so he could whisper it in his ear, away from Eden's sight and hearing.

As promised he didn't look for the package his father left him until after his father died. It didn't take long. Augustus suspected he'd more or less give up on life after passing on that one vital piece of information. Autumn Sr. didn't even bother with a show of affection before he was gone, not that they had ever been particularly affectionate before his death, but a simple "I'm proud of you, son." or "I love you, Augustus." would have been nice. As he looks back now, Autumn believes that Eden saw that disconnect in their relationship and used it to his advantage. Eden wasn't overly prolific in his praise but he knew how and when Autumn needed to hear it from his father, and when he didn't, Eden was always there with words of encouragement. A rueful smile crept on his face, as he began issuing the order to countermand the President, devious sonofabitch.

In fact the package had all but slipped from his mind by the time he was called up to the control room to meet Eden face to face for the first time. He was jittery and nervous; it was so strange to actually head into Section 1A that he could barely manage to return nods and salutes from passing soldiers. Augustus was momentarily put off when he arrived in the control room and found the great tower of a ZAX computer. He didn't understand until he was actually at Eden's console, that John Henry Eden _was_ the ZAX computer, and not a facsimile of the Wizard of Oz (_'..When I was a child, growing up in rural Kentucky, I had the best friend a boy could hope for - my dear old dog, Honey. Oh, the adventures we used to have!..'_).

He was speechless for several moments after Eden's warm greeting, as his mind processed just what he was seeing and compared it against everything he hew about the President. How Eden seemed to see from all cameras at once, heard every word spoken, seemed to be able to speak to two different people simultaneously. It seemed so obvious now; how had no one ever guessed at it? And why had his father kept it secret, especially considering his apparent dislike of the President.

It didn't take long for Augustus to realize why. Eden had no means to interact with the Enclave members aside from speaking with them and he was a most persuasive man (man, always man. He seems incapable of truly thinking of Eden as a machine, he's so very human in many respects. It's always been jarring to hear him speak so callusly of the people of the Wastes, savages though they are, because it rudely reminds Autumn that Eden is _not_ human), his gift of speech honed and sharpened to a razors edge.

"Ah, Colonel. It is so good to speak with you face to face. This has been a day I long looked forward to, and I'm glad that it has finally come. I have relied on you a great deal, even before the unfortunate death of your father. You have my most deepest condolences. Julius Autumn was a good man, a good American, and he will be sorely missed."

Augustus managed a hesitant, "Thank you, Sir."

He couldn't see Eden smile but he could hear it in his voice, "Oh come now, Augustus, is it really so surprising?"

And just like that, Eden had him. In the twenty years that they had been in Capital Wasteland, Eden had never once called him anything beyond his rank and surname, but in that moment he was Eden's confidant, and friend. The man who treated him better than his own father had. He couldn't help but feel the weight of the privilege that Eden had just bestowed on him. In that moment he'd've given Eden anything, and he's not ashamed to say that he loved Eden. For everything he gave Augusts, for everything he stood for, and for being that voice in that dark when they were almost beaten.

For seven years they worked well together, better than well, _amazingly_ well. Any who doubted Eden during his father's reign now had full confidence again because of Augustus. Eden's praise rang warm in his ears as they finally began to see real fruit from the projects they'd spent the last twenty-seven years on. To this day he'll never forget the conversation with Eden when the President first brought up the idea of continuing Richardson's idea of using modified FEV virus to purge the Capital Wasteland of mutants. ("Colonel, I've been thinking. The Capital Wasteland is populated by a whole host of unsavory characters, the Brotherhood being the least of our worries. Though we have plans to deal with the raiders and slavers, the Outcasts and dissents, have we truly decided how to approach the problem of the creatures that are twisted so gravely by radiation? I have began wonder if Richardson's work has some merit here.") Autumn wonders now if somehow he couldn't have pulled Eden off this track to begin with, so that they never ended up at odds.

At that time, his plan wasn't quite so radical, Eden only ever made mention of super mutants, ghouls and those irradiated monster like animals that roamed the Wastes. Who amoung the Enclave could disagree with that? It would be an excellent way to make themselves known to the people again, outside the President's broadcasts. They would be lauded as the heroes the are, and turn the popular tide of opinion against the reprehensible Brotherhood (_'..These power-armoured boy scouts are nothing more than common criminals with access to some antiquated technology. Criminals who have had the audacity to claim this country's most important military installation, the Pentagon, as their own personal clubhouse!..'_).

The President only truly began thinking about unleashing the FEV virus on the whole of the Wasteland when the Enclave heard that the lead scientist of Project Purity had come back from whatever hole he'd crawled into (literally, Augustus later learned) and started the project up again. Eden was convinced that the only reason he'd come back to it was because the man had discovered a way to make it work. To Eden, this was a neat, tidy solution to the delivery problem that they had been struggling with for the last three years. For Autumn, it was the beginning if their disagreements and later, outright arguments.

After a particular viscous one, Augustus recalled his father's dying words: "Augustus," his father whispered weakly into his ear, "I've left something for you, but please don't seek it out until after I'm gone. It's in your mother's picture frame. One day you'll see Eden for what he is and when you do, I know you'll have use for it."

He tore through his father's belongings that day, trying to find the picture. Augustus had one of his own, one of them as a family before his mother was killed in action. So had simply put his father's picture away, without bothering with whatever it was his father left. He was too angry about his father's lack of death bed affection to bother with it. He found the photo (the picture frame a simple Pre-War trinket) of his mother, young and smiling in her officer's uniform, looking like the fresh recruit she was. He touched the glass momentarily, wishing she were still there, and then turned the frame around and gently pried the backing off.

Tucked inside was a scrap of paper, worn from being folded and re-folded. It was a piece of a scientific readout, like the kind that used to be scattered about his father's quarters. Augustus unfolded it and written in his father's scrawl was a single sentence. 'ZAX destruct code: Priority Override, Authorization code 420-03-20-9'.

He refolded the paper and closed his eyes. The anger was mostly gone then and he could scarcely think about destroying Eden, killing him in cold blood. A few months later after another row with the President (somehow Eden never truly lost his cool, allowing Augustus to rant and rave and then gently chastise him for his uncalled for behavior. It was that condescension that angered Autumn the most and made him consider destroying Eden for a brief moment, if only to get the last word) he pulled the destruct code out of the bottom compartment of his bobble-head.

He stared at it for a long time, losing his desire to see Eden gone with every passing second. Then he pulled his Pip-boy out of storage and made a recording, making it as callus sounding as possible so that he could replay it to himself in those moments when he let Eden talk him out of any opposing action.

Now, as he climbs aboard his Vertibird (feeling a pang of jealously that Eden had invited that Vault dweller to see him in person) he knows that the only way to make Eden see the error of his ways is to beat him to the Purifier and use it the way Augustus believes it should be used, free of the FEV virus. (If only that brat had given him the code, this could have been solved _so much_ easier.) He knows that when this is done, when the Enclave have succeeded, he'll return to Eden and then the President will see that there were other ways to get rid of ghouls and super mutants. That the whole of the Wastes isn't a right-off. Augustus will make Eden see, he has too. Richardson was wrong those thirty-two years ago and Eden is wrong now.

He can hear the President's apology now: Eden's rueful smile bleeding into his tone, "I see now, Augustus, you were right. Perhaps there is something to be gained in this, but let's not forget our research. We have much work ahead of us."

The subtle vertigo of the Vertibird lifting off draws him back to reality, and Augustus looks out the window at the shrinking cliff face of Raven Rock. He can feel his own face settling into the hard lines of _Colonel Autumn_ as he thinks about the future of the Enclave. Then it softens for a moment, sad and hopeful at once, for he cannot imagine a future without Eden.

(_'..I'm John Henry Eden. President of the Enclave. President of America. President of your heart...'_)

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a/n: Pip-boy's are incredible handy gizmos, I find hard to imagine that the Enclave wouldn't have employed them in some things. The book Augustus is talking about is a book I read in high school. 'The Chrysalides' by John Wyndham.


End file.
